Rethinking Slow Living

Simple Living

27 Aug

Written By

I’ve been rethinking slow living.

I’d fallen off the wagon for a little while in the tumultuous period when we were moving, but I also feel like I’ve never really known what “slow living” actually is. Which I realise sounds ludicrous from a self-styled slow living blogger. I thought that by writing about it I'd figure it out; but I was aiming for something blurry, a conglomeration of Instagram pictures, blog posts and dreams of donkeys in an orchard, and I didn’t know how this translated to everyday life.It’s hard to live a certain lifestyle when you don’t know what it actually entails.But one anecdote in this podcast interview with Erin Loechner (a.k.a, the internet queen of slow living) completely changed the whole way I thought about the simple life. When Erin and her family have people over for dinner, they eat cheap, greasy takeaway pizza - without exception. Because for her, it’s more important to be spending time enjoying the company of her friends than dashing in and out of the kitchen and stressing about the meal. Dried flowers hanging on a door - slow living And that set me free in my thinking. From the start I’d had it in my head that slow living meant everything had to be done “properly”. Hot stoves had to be sweated over, meals had to be cooked all day and made with home grown ingredients. The jam on your toast had to be homemade (and the toast itself, for that matter), and evenings should be spent knitting by candlelight, or reading novels wrapped in a blanket drinking chamomile tea.I’m writing this and it sounds idyllic, of course. But the pressure to achieve that was exhausting, and it was making me feel worse about myself, not better. By setting those standards, every day was a failure - not only because I can’t actually knit (someone teach me!), but because there’s work to be done, a house to keep in some sort of order all while trying to remain a good partner/daughter/friend/human.Recently, I’ve barely had the time to make sausage and chips for tea, let alone slow roast pork with foraged herbs and batches of cheese scones.

Fern growing out of a stone wall

Living up to the slow living ideal was actually making my life speed up. Everything was a rush, a rush to get things done in time to sit down for an hour and actively "slow down". I bombarded myself with the hashtagslowliving aesthetic. If there was a “proper” way of doing slow living, then there was most definitely a way it should look. Thank God for my indecisiveness as a shopper because I could have bankrupted us buying the exact right linen napkins, the farmhouse table, the expensive basket complete with wildflower bouquet. In everything I did, everything I consumed and everything I enjoyed, there was always that reminder that I was falling short, not doing it "properly".So Erin talking about her takeaway dinner parties was like watching the sheet being pulled off the gameshow prize. Just like The Grinch when he realises that “perhaps Christmas doesn’t come from a store”, I realised that slowing living wasn’t about doing things “properly”, doing things in that certain #slowliving way. That there was no rule book.Slow living is just living slowly, in whatever and however way that means to you. butterfly book with heather on a desk - slow living It’s about knowing and passionately loving the things we value, and designing our lives to spend the most time possible enjoying them. It’s about having intentionality and consciousness in our activities, about escaping the mindless scrolling and unproductive multi-tasking and focusing on purposeful action. It’s about embracing the fact that you're not doing it all - it's about doing less, but better.It's about knowing what the priorities are in your life and spending the time on them. Everything else you can say 'not yet' to. The specific priorities, of course, are different for everyone. Mine are different to yours, and they’ll probably change again in a few months time with ebb and flow of life. But if you want some inspiration, below I've listed what I'm making time for in this season of my life:

Work

This counts! And not just has to be a priority right now; I really enjoy it! Before it was work it was my hobby, after all. But rather than just hurling myself into work, I am focusing on how I can work in the most productive and intentional way I can.

Outdoors

Well, we moved to a National Park for a reason! Particularly as we move into autumn and the holidaymakers subside, I am so excited to explore further in this beautiful place and prioritise time spent outside walking in the mountains or paddling in the sea (and not feel guilty about it...).

Mind

After the life upheaval of the last few months, I am focusing on calmness, settling and developing my abilities as a coach. Working on mind sets, learning about mindfulness and generally feeling at home in myself.

Home

Specifically, our new home. After living in a damp, uncared for house for two years I just want to enjoy our beautiful cottage. This not only means making it nice, but keeping it nice (and work really hard on becoming a domestic goddess!).

Connection

This one is about connection with people. If I let them, my introvert tendencies will have me turn into a hermit. And although I'd be secretly quite happy about that, I know I need to work on and foster connections with actual live humans, both online and offline. Talking about what slow living means - getting rid of the slow living ideal and doing less, but better Of course I want to do it all. Things not on this list include food, crafting, hobbies, reading, body/exercise and loads of other things that are important to me and tick a slow living box. But I know now that to live slow, you focus on the important things. I didn’t make this list after a ton of soul searching; they were just the first five things that came to me. And sometimes, that’s the only way to know how you truly feel.So that’s where I am. I’m sure I’m not alone in that feeling of “proper” slow living, and I hope this may have helped and inspired you to take the pressure off and focus on your own priorities. Slow living is supposed to make life simpler, and if it’s not doing that for you then you need and can make the change. We have so many things pressuring us from all angles in our lives – we should be doing all we can to relieve that for ourselves.