How to Be More Decisive
Indecision is one of our greatest plagues as business owners. It can exist as a constant small doubt in your chest that has you anxiously seeking out validation, and it can also come in huge waves, dashing your confidence against the rocks. “I just don’t know what to do for the best” is one of the most common struggles I hear, and when indecision sets in we stop, lose momentum, stagnate and, sometimes, give up entirely. In this post, I address that indecision and help you learn how to be more decisive.
There are two main types of indecision: external and internal. External indecision comes from what we see outside of us, from comparing ourselves to other businesses and drinking in every tip the internet can throw at you. When we see someone in our space start to use social ads, for example, that can spark a wave of indecision that is full of the feelings: will I fall behind if I don’t do that too? Is it already too late? They’re so much more professional than me, should I start doing ads now? Whatever projects you were working on get washed away as you lose your precious time and energy to indecision. The same thing happens when you listen to a podcast about someone’s six figure launch and the one thing that made the difference for them – suddenly all you can think about is how you should implement that one thing too.
And then we have internal indecision. This indecision can come from fear and all those stories you’ve always believed about yourself: that you’re not creative enough or smart enough or productive enough or anything enough to make it work. You dither over the details because making a decision means you’re casting a vote of belief in yourself – and that can be hard. Especially as, once the decision is made, you have to actually do the things.
But internal indecision doesn’t just come from fear. It also comes from excitement and creativity, because they can give you too many ideas. When you are full of belief and inspiration you see opportunity everywhere and you get about 58 ideas for new projects in a week. This can feel amazing, but it can also lead you teasingly towards indecision. When there’s so much you feel committed to doing, you never really start and you certainly don’t finish – you skip from one task to another, constantly trying to balance and juggle and never quite feeling like you’re in control.
Neither external or internal indecision are, in themselves, the problem though. Indecision is not a cause of fear, or low motivation, or procrastination, it is a symptom of a deeper problem: unrootedness.
When you and your business are not rooted at a central anchor point of purpose and values, you are free to drift on the tides of indecision. When every idea you have or “must do” you read is an option, of course you’re not going to be able to make a decision – because what are you basing that decision on? When you are clear about the impact you want to have on the world, and the way in which you want to make that impact, that clarity becomes an anchor rope, a starting point to pull you out of stuckness.
With indecision there is a sense that things are out of our control, that it is not for us to define what we do and don’t do; we must be good and do as we are told. But there isn’t the one way to do this life, and no invisible boss that will give you a job description – there’s only us. We need to build the fences around what we do, to decide what is for us and what is not. I like to think of these as little paddocks, where I work away on just what is inside.
Take course creation, for example. In the “how to create e-courses” world there is the unchallenged assumption that your course will be made up of presentation-style videos, but given that they are not how I like to learn or teach, they are not in my paddock. Instead, my paddock has worksheets, written lessons, and audio – and I don’t trouble myself with deciding to do anything outside of that.
In order to create your paddock, though, we need to understand what we want and feel confident in what we stand for. I was able to put up those fences and turn my back on the videos because I knew that decision was rooted in my values. I knew that I’d enjoy creating materials and writing audio scripts more than I would figuring out camera settings and editing software. I knew that I’d be able to get value where it needed to be faster that way, and I knew that the value would be even better by me leaning into my strengths instead of stretching myself somewhere I wasn’t comfortable. I was able to skip all the indecision and go straight to action by doubling down on my strengths and values, and doing what they told me.
SO WHERE ARE SOME PLACES FOR YOU TO START?
If you’re experiencing indecision like this, that’s generally a sign that you’re at the Align stage of the Inward Attainment Map. That means that there is a disconnect between you, the actions you’re taking and the truth of what you truly want – and that disconnect is causing the indecision and lack of clarity.
Before you can start to assemble the fences for your paddocks, you need to map the areas and collect the materials. Plotting the areas comes down to you deciding what feels right to you, and where you can best make your impact – this might be in any area, like social media, content creation, the number of clients you take on, the products you stock. What are your non-negotiables for yourself, what are the best conditions for you to be of service? Draw the boundary of your paddock there.
Then, think about your values and use them as your fence posts. What is most important to you in your work? How do you want to feel as you go forward? What do you feel called to change? Use those things as your fencing so that when you get close to the edge of the paddock they can remind you why the boundary is there.
And lastly, for those times when the grass on the other side is looking decidedly greener, create your emotive vision of what your aligned and fulfilled daily life will feel like – and use that to remind yourself of why your paddock is perfect just as it is.
Find out more about how you can work through the Inward Attainment Map in The Trail here.
