My 30 at 30 List
This week, I turned thirty. For some this is might mean nothing more than an extra candle on the cake or for others it might signal the unwelcome arrival of the end of youth. But for me, thirty feels, above all, like opportunity. Following an undeniably life-changing 6 months I feel like I am just now starting to scratch the surface of who I really am, what is possible for me and how I can truly, deeply belong to myself.
The Kayte of my twenties was so earnest. So focused on what the next right step was, so desperate to be neatly categorised and tick the boxes, so diligent about not rocking any boats. Every decision, choice and instance seemed heavy with ramifications for the rest of my life, and so I avoided the big questions and challenges and tried to slip under the radar. The Kayte of my thirties isn’t going to be so damn sensible. She’s going to ask “why not?” when the old stories say she can’t do something, she’s going to sit in the messy discomfort, she’s going to do whatever the hell she wants. She’s going to be free.
I’ve never had a bucket list, nor did I have any formal list of things I wanted to do by the time I hit thirty. But a few weeks ago I felt compelled to create a “30 at 30” list – things I wanted to do, see and experience while I am thirty years old. And, I thought I’d publish it here. It’s going to be a busy year…
30 At 30
1 - Have a make up lesson
I’ve never really worn make up beyond a lick of mascara, predominantly because I never learned how and was too scared to do it “wrong”. I’m just interested in learning!
2 - Rock climbing course
I really loved climbing when I was younger, but never picked it up again despite living around an awful lot of rock for the last 4 years. It also feels like a more enjoyable way to improve my non-existent upper body strength and grow my confidence in the mountains.
3 – Hike the Welsh 3000s
Climb the fifteen highest peaks in Wales (all over 3000 feet), probably over three days.
4 - Solo trip abroad
Pandemic-allowing, this might be commuted to a trip “abroad” over the border to England…
5 - Wild swim
I have a long-held aversion to cold water but I know I’ll love it and just need to get over myself and strop being so serious about it.
6 - Do the splits
Because why not?! This is silly really, but it’s also one of those things that I would have always said was not “for me” and never even tried – but why not have fun with my body trying?!
7 - Write a short poetry collection
Not because I want to be a poet, and definitely not because I want to have them published. It just feels like something I’d enjoy, a way to push myself and my writing craft, and a very pleasant thing to produce.
8 - Practical skills course
Someone suggested this on Instagram, something like car maintenance or plumbing. While I can’t say I’m over-the-moon-excited at the prospect, the idea of learning something that will help me take care of future me does feel good.
9 - Spa weekend
No commentary needed here!
10 - Ride a horse on a beach
Why not!
11 - Do paddle boarding
I’ve wanted to do paddle boarding for so long, but always, again, felt it wasn’t for me, and I wouldn’t be any good, so it was easier not to try.
12- Have a tarot reading
While I’ve done tarot for myself I’d be super interested in having my cards read for me just to see what it’s like (taking suggestions for awesome people who do this if you have any recommendations!)
13 - Wine tasting course
In another life I would have loved to have been a sommelier.
14 - Photoshoot
I’ve never had any photos done for the business professionally, nor had any photos taken above and beyond an awkward office headshot, so while I’d love some great photos to use here, I also do just want the experience too.
15 - Make a 60 before 60 list
Some of the ideas I had of things I wanted to do weren’t possible to do in a year, or in this year, given travel restrictions etc, so I’m going to start on a 60 before 60 list for some of the bigger life goals.
16 – Individual fun day with each of my best friends
I have five best friends, and this year I’d like to spend a day of one-on-one quality time with each of them.
17 - See an art show
Because it’s been so long, and this used to be one of my absolute favourite things to do.
18 - Wear a crop top in public
This sounds vain as hell but stay with me. This is one of those “I would never” things; even seeing crop tops while online shopping would make me a bit angry and hate my body a little bit. It would feel so nice to be comfortable enough with the body I’ve come to form a strong bond with over the last few months to let go of the “not good enough”-ness I’ve held around it.
19 – Walk a pilgrimage route
I’ve always had a thing about pilgrimage routes, the power that must have been infused into the ground by many centuries of faithful feet – there’s something magic about that to me, even though I’m not Christian. I’d love to join them.
20 - Participate in a book club
Because I never have and have always wanted to!
21 – Do a dance class
Over the last couple of months I have been doing dance videos on YouTube almost every day. I am very gangly and am sure I don’t look very good, but I do kinda love it. I would really like to learn styling and shaping, not because I want to go be a back updancer, but it just feels like another level of being in possession of your body.
22 - Create and sell a charity product
I would love to create something that’s not-for-profit and can really help people.
23 - Write a letter to someone I don’t know
Because it feels kinda romantic.
24 - Watch a sunrise outside
I.e., not just out the window from my bed! I am not a morning person in the slightest but maybe once it will be nice to make an exception.
25 - Do a beach clean
Because they’ll probably need it this summer and it’s nice to help the outdoors.
26 - Long distance hike
As well as the 3000s I’d like to do a long(ish) distance through or circular hike – perhaps the circumference of Anglesey…
27 - Solo wild camp
Because I’m more capable than I think.
28 – left intentionally blank
29 – left intentionally blank
30 – left intentionally blank
This isn’t a cop out, stay with me! A week or so ago I was on a Skype with a friend who asked me “a year from now, what do you want your life to look like?”. That’s the kind of question I usually drink up and have a whole load of ideas of what I want, but this time I found myself saying “actually, I don’t want to answer that. I don’t want to limit myself to just what I can think of now. I don’t want to create a self-fulfilling prophecy by saying it out loud now – I want to see what I didn’t think would be possible unfold”.
And so I thought I’d take this same approach with the end of this list. The Kayte of 3/6/9 months time will probably have an idea for this list that I couldn’t even imagine right now. The point of this list was to challenge what I thought possible – so I’m leaving room for what’s possible.
