The Story of Getting Unblocked
There is something so particular about being lost and blocked with your work. There is the shame of course, of being so lazy and so unfocused, and trying to hide it from the world so they won’t think less of you. There is the frustration of having all this energy with no outlet, of actually wanting to have work to enjoy but not having the ideas to work on. There is the anxiety about money, about how to fill your time, about the best way forward. And, in the dark of night, there is the glowing fear that maybe this is it - maybe you used it all up and you’re done.
When I think back to my season of being lost and blocked I can immediately feel the drop from my chest to my stomach, relive the concoction of all those horrible feelings. Mine lasted for most of 2021. I lived, financially, on the dregs of programmes nearing completion, government Covid grants and savings. I lived, creatively, on wishes.
On wishing for ideas that just wouldn’t come, on wishing for flowy creativity, wishing for my old self back. I tried really really hard to reignite the spark, and when that didn’t work I stopped trying but that didn’t work either. I really, truly, wondered whether I’d ever be able to make anything again.
In the year since I began remaking my creative process I have:
created one flagship course with multimedia lessons and illustrated worksheets
created a nine month group programme of workbooks and essays
written an 18,000+ word book proposal
made two practical courses with 15 lessons each
blogged, podcasted and posted on Instagram at a higher frequency and consistency than I have in years
began the creation of a new deep dive course about how all this happened
When I think back to 12 months ago, when I sat back down to work after so long not, this list feels insane to me.
Because what’s just as important is that in the last 12 months I have also:
taken three trips to visit friends
stayed in Lisbon for three weeks
hosted four trips of friends and family
hiked four mountains six different times
visited galleries and castles
attended a supper club
had many wine and 90s nights in my friend's kitchen
never worked more than six hours in a day
It feels sort of impossible, sort of unnatural, to have done both. To have both achieved a lot, and also enjoyed it. But… that's the beauty of process.
The difference was that I began to experience the way I was working. I stepped out of the stressing body and walked around it, zooming out from what I thought was the problem to the great scheme of what I was doing.
I began to notice patterns, and rather than beat myself up about them I accepted them as part of the way I created. Rather than expect blanket productivity I began to plan for it, managing energy and rhythms to set myself up for success.
I dropped the longing for the most Pinterest-y work routine/space/habits and just… let myself work in the way I needed to work. I read and walked and visited and re-inspired myself.
I learned the difference between when I needed to push and when I needed to let go. I followed what I was excited by.
And hook and by crook, over a year, I fashioned a process for creating that was spacious and beautiful and also worked across multiple projects in multiple places.
Want to start making your own…?
