Grow with Soul: Episode 119 - A Fulfilment-Orientated Business - And Having "More" As Your Boss
Hello, welcome back to Grow With Soul, thank you for coming back, it is very much appreciated. It is just me again today and todays episode I think follows along nicely from last week’s episode with Sasha, probably because this was all stewing and condensing in my mind since that conversation. We spoke a lot about the career ladders and following growth trajectories without even really interrogating them, and this episode is kinda the next step from that - what do you fill the vacuum with that’s left behind when you stop chasing a growth you don’t even want?
What I talk about in this episode:
What's left when you stop chasing the growth
The non-specific 'more' that we persue
My own 'growth' journey
Grow with Soul: Episode 118 – The Energy of Not Growing and End of the Day Us, With Sasha Glasgow
True North
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Read the episode transcript:
Hello, welcome back to Grow With Soul, thank you for coming back, it is very much appreciated. It is just me again today and today’s episode I think follows along nicely from last week’s episode with Sasha, probably because this was all stewing and condensing in my mind since that conversation. We spoke a lot about the career ladders and following growth trajectories without even really interrogating them, and this episode is kinda the next step from that - what do you fill the vacuum with that’s left behind when you stop chasing a growth you don’t even want?
I forget whether I’ve already said this on the podcast, and forgive me if I have, but I think it bears repeating. In my client conversations over the last 12 months the one marked difference has been the questioning of growth and the removal of growth as the default result that people want. Pre-pandemic it was an unspoken assumption we were all on board with - obviously you want to grow, so let’s skip into the how without questioning the why. In the last 12 months more and more people are coming with their priority being their families, their time, their own creativity, their work/life balance. The same has been true for me in my business too.
I am conscious here of casting “growth” as the villain, as something not to want, and that’s not true at all. When I say “growth” what I’m referring to is the non-specific more that we can get wrapped up in and desperate for. We’ve all been there, I think, when everywhere we look is six figure launches and passive income and x amount of Instagram followers and we think “oh my god I’m so behind, I need more” and so we obsess over needing growth and read articles and listen to podcasts about growth hacks and just keep throwing spaghetti at the wall and see if it sticks.
I do want growth in my business, but in a very specific way for a very specific result. I only want to grow the profit, and only by a certain amount, as that will give me some more security, help me to build my savings back up and enable me to “buy back” time from the business in order to hike and see friends and read and maybe work on some other creative projects. I don’t want more because I want more. That’s the default I’d love for us to get away from.
But of course my motivations and therefore my business hasn’t always looked like that. For the first two to three years I had a very growth-orientated, or more-orientated, business. This meant that every little facet, every thing I did, was pointed towards generating more growth. There wasn’t a lot of financial planning or goal setting because the goal was just to make more, and therefore that meant that there wasn’t a limit on the number of clients I would take on at any one time, and also that there wasn’t a limit on the projects I’d start and take on (ie, three in person workshops in a month, plus running an online course, plus one-to-one clients). There was also, of course, no limit to the marketing I was doing because I always needed more results, so I was posting on Instagram every day, blogging once or twice a week, podcasting weekly, pitching for outreach, going on every podcast that would have me. It also meant that my brain and my energy were always pointed towards more; I was never not thinking about how to grow, trying to come up with The Idea that would unlock more growth, analysing the minutiae of photos that got lots of likes, always itching to do something that would help the business grow.
Saying all that in a row it’s kinda funny that I could ever have expected that to NOT turn into burn out. Because it’s not just the physical exhaustion of doing all the things, it’s the mental and energetic exhaustion of always being on. Of there being a brick against the accelerator pedal and you not being able to do anything except steer the car away from trees and walls. Of the constant thinking, constant planning, constant worry that you’re not doing enough. Looking back it was a really miserable way to live, full of deprivation because every single moment had to be focused on the acquisition of more growth. I also feel like I was a pretty boring human as I didn’t have anything else to talk about.
I know it’s not just me. I work with clients who have recognised that the striving for limitless growth is making them miserable, whether that’s because they haven’t had a day off as a family in two years or because they realise their norm has become 12 hour days and 6 day weeks. They feel like their business is running them and can see life passing them by while they’re stuck with all the things they said yes to while all the things they wanted to do in the first place languish behind them. And I think the thing that binds all of our stories together is that in the pursuit of more we forget we have a choice. When more is our boss we do whatever it wants, and what it wants is more than we have to give. We can never do enough for more, and so we give all of our time, all of our energy and because we’re so busy trying to serve this unreasonable boss we forget that actually, we’re the ones who appointed him. We’re the CEOs, but we’re answering to the shift manager.
How might it be different if you appointed fulfilment instead? What would fulfilment ask of you? I know that my fulfilment boss would ask me to take a couple of days off a week, and cut out the things I don’t like doing, say no to anything that’s not a hell yes, focus on the projects I really enjoy, ensure that my profit margins are enough to make the work really worthwhile. There’s a different energy to that. Everybody’s fulfilment is different, so just think about what that would look like for you. If fulfilment was your boss, what would it ask of you?
You may be thinking “well that’s a lovely thought experiment but I’ve got fifty things to do today alone and I just cannot get off this train”. And I agree. When the brick is against the accelerator you can’t just jump out the car - you’ll get pretty badly injured, the car will get smashed to pieces and there’ll likely be some collateral damage. The first thing is to notice that the brick is there, that this isn’t you driving the car - but that you can do something about it. Then, while still steering, you nudge the brick with your foot, a centimetre at a time, until the car starts to slow down and the brick eventually falls off. Then you get to determine what speed feels good for you, or even if you just want to pull up for a while.
In real terms, this means not taking the drastic scary action because we all still have bills to pay and commitments to fulfil. But it does mean that maybe you close your store for a month to catch up, put a cap on new clients, change the way you show up in your online course. Perhaps outsourcing a few things, even temporarily, or asking for help in other areas to lighten the mental load. Then you cordon off a few hours a week to look at what needs to change in order for you to feel more fulfilled and in control - sometimes that’s changing the entire business model, sometimes it’s just not posting daily.
It takes time though. It’s been about two and half years since I realised I needed to change, and the first 6 months were just slowing the car down enough to be able to think. I stopped taking on one-to-one clients for a year, I experimented with different offerings, I set big financial goals and small ones. I did a lot of unravelling of why I thought the way I did, what my worthiness was connected to, and a lot of rebuilding what the vision of what I want is when it’s true to me. I didn’t have the term “fulfilment-orientated business” during that time, but that’s what I was doing - finding ways to turn the car away from the direction of growth and toward the direction of fulfilment. Well, and actually figure out which direction was fulfilment too. It’s easy to follow growth, more, because there are big flashing neon signs everywhere showing you which way to go. Fulfilment is a dirt track you can only sometimes see, so it takes a little longer, a little more effort.
My business does now have a fulfilment-orientated structure. The business model is focused on space and the work I most want to be doing - a very limited number of one-to-one clients per year within a process that allows me to get right into the heart of it with him, plus some kits and courses that I can revel in the creation of. The space in the business model filters down into space in the every day - I can take a sunny day off to go walking, go stay with a friend for a weekend, take myself out for lunch on a random Tuesday. The driving force behind everything in the business is no longer “how can I get more?” but “how can I feel most alive?”
Before we end, I’d like to speak to the high achievers. The ones for whom being ambitious, working hard for what you want, having results, is something you’re very proud of. I always wanted the highest marks, the best comments, and later the most fast tracked career. Ambition was the core of my identity, I was proud of it, I loved it. And I know that that version of me would listen to this episode and want no part of it. It wouldn’t be enough, I wouldn’t want to let go of that ambition
But I want to say this. It’s not about not being ambitious - it’s about being ambitious for something different. It’s about not being ambitious for socially approved, external markers of success, and instead being ambitious for what makes all your insides feel all joined up and fully, truthfully expressed. Being ambitious for, in my case, the mountains I want to climb, the writing I want to do, the friend I want to be. Maybe it's being ambitious for the types of art you want to create, the time you can spend with your family, the travel you can do. So I’m not saying we shouldn’t be ambitious. I’m saying, what might it be like if we redirect ambition into a life worth living?